Thursday, May 25, 2006

Just a Little Bit of Apocalypse to Make the Medicine go Down


So here's my prediction. Gore in 2008. That's right. Al Gore. Hillary is unelectable, Barack Obama would get shot, but Gore's got a new movie in the theaters. Folks, it's gonna be Gore.


It'll go down a little something like this. The film will be the sleeper hit of the summer, March of the Penguins style. It's already getting early buzz and film festival prizes. The hopeful are rallying friends who aren't the least bit interested in climate science to see it. The press is priming the pump--just take a look at the covers of Time, Wired, and Vanity Fair. This summer the masses will begin to become atuned to the state of the climate, with a little help from the media engine.

Simultaneously, in the American southeast, some small bit of apocalypse will come crashing ashore, Katrina style, and the film will be referenced again and again. The reality of the science will become palpable to the people, finally. Gore will tell us that he told us so. And all the while, he will insist that he's not running for office. The reluctant non-politico politico will operate outside of the confines and constraints of a presidential run and in so doing, become the only electable canditate. He'll be seen as a rogue who speaks freely, a champion of the left, a new leader who will shun the mantle of the presidency precisely because he values his freedom. He'll be perceived sort of an Anti-Arnold. Unlike Das Gubernator, he'll use his celebrity to actually lead, rather than to simply win an office. Well, for a little while anyway. After a long hot heat wave of a summer and a little Class 5 pummelling, our nation will rise up and cry out and demand that an unfettered man step up and lead us out of an annhilation of our own making. Gore will heed the cry and he will stride boldly from the red carpet to the White House!

You heard it here first!

Of course, there's still the problem of the Congress and the reality of entrenched business interests that are opposed to environmental regulation. But, at least our newly elected president will be facing the right direction.